Family Doesn't Mean a Blood Relation

The beginning of Camille Gibb's "Sweetness in the Belly" talks a lot about family and the separation from family. One of the main characters Amina talks about family not being about who you share blood with but those who share loving relationships with. The way Amina views family reminds me of my all time favorite movie in the whole universe... Disney's 'Lilo & Stitch'. One of the most well-known quotations from the movie is, "Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.". Below is a small gif set of Lilo and Stitch saying that quotation because it's a hell of a lot cuter when you imagine a young girl saying it to her new dog-like alien friend, and her new dog-like alien friend finishing her sentence.






The actual quotation that reminded me of Lilo and Stitch is when Lilly, the protagonist talks about the map depicting who her family is, "But there's not an ounce of blood shared between me and anyone..." and Amina answers her with, "Okay, so yours is not a map of blood. But can't you see? This is a map of love."

I agree with Amina, that family is more than a blood relation. This is proven not only through Disney's Lilo & Stitch, but probably where the original idea for Lilo & Stitch came into play, which is orphaned children. Worldwide, there are approximately 17 million double orphans. A double orphan is a child that has lost both of their parents. It's unfortunate for these children, but children get adopted, or children grow up and create their own familial connections with people they know and grow to love. The connections that these children form end up being stronger and more loving than anything they have ever known... And I think that says a lot about the power of love.

I think it's safe to say that love is stronger than a blood relation, although love can definitely strengthen a blood relation. I would like to think this is something Amina would agree with also.

Like Mother, Not So Much Like Daughter

For my last post talking about the Namesake I want to discuss the difference between Moushumi and Gogol's generations compared to their parents. Moushumi and Gogol are so different from their parents yet they ended up in similar marriages as their parents... Perhaps the differences in personality are just one of the reasons why Moushumi and Gogol couldn't work together. Moushumi would crave independence where her mother had no choice and was told since the first day of her marriage that she were to rely on her husband. I'd like to think that Ashima is in between Moushumi and her mother. When Ashima first arrived in America she wanted independence as well. She didn't wan to be cooped up in the house all day, but she also feared the new world that surrounded her. Just how Moushumi's mother might fear independence, Moushumi fears dependency itself.

"She'd privately vowed that she'd never grow fully dependent on her husband, as her mother has." Moushumi's thought process continues "...her mother does not know how to drive, does not have a job, does not know the difference between a checking and a savings account."(Lahiri 247).

You would think that Moushumi totally resents her mother after those words, but then the narrator adds that "she is a perfectly intelligent women"(Lahiri 247).

Does maybe Moushumi see her mother's perfect intelligence a waste because she is so dependent upon Moushumi's father? I think yes. I think that Moushumi is most frightened that her life and everything that she has accomplished will go to waste if she continues her life with Gogol.

I think Moushumi's fear is totally rational. Especially with the recent wave of popularity in Feminism happening I can totally understand how she doesn't want to end up oppressed and limited like her mother has been.

So Moushumi,



We can be independent!! ...But you really didn't need to leave/cheat on Gogol in order to gain your independence.

Repurcussions

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

It's nice to think that everything happens for a reason when something good happens, but what about when catastrophe strikes? Is everything a lesson to learn from? Some ask this question when bad things happen in the world. Those who believe in G-d, or those of other faiths often question if he who is ruler of all and so mighty, why would he allow for bad things like war, death, rape, and natural disaster to occur?

In Hinduism, the 'everything happens for a reason' idea is actually a central tenet of the faith. This is one of the reasons why I think Ashima has such a difficult time dealing with Ashoke's death. As for Ashima, her faith is telling her to yes, mourn, but to also understand that this unfortunate event has happened in order for other events to take place. At this point in the story, Ashima is probably having major internal conflict. Is she suppose to be frustrated with herselft? Her late husband Ashoke? Her superior in her faith?

Although sad, the unfortunate event of Ashoke's death, creates the opportunity for Ashima to claim her namesake. Earlier in the story we learned that Ashima's name means, "she who is limitless, without borders"(21). By Ashoke leaving her (even though unintentional) she is left to be independent, and she continues to grow and prosper in her own life. By her being able to overcome Ashoke's death and continue on she becomes limitless, and she empowers herself. The bravest part about Ashima claiming her namesake in this part of the book is that she didn't move back to India after Ashoke passed away. She continued to live in America, and therefore she is without borders physically.

Speaking of borders, Ashima, who was once shy and guarded is most vulnerable at this point. Her vulnerability eliminates the emotional borders she once had and, with the help of Gogol and Sonia, she becomes comfortable in America.

By Ashoke passing, Ashima, whether she was aware of it or not was able to claim her namesake. So, does everything happen for a reason? What do you think?

Attached above is John Green's crash course on Hinduism if you guys want to learn a little bit more about the Hindu faith.

To Be No Longer Near 'Near Death'

"But we already nearly lost you once".

When Ashoke's parents tell him this it really struck my heart. Why would Ashoke want to leave home if he nearly died? Well I understand Ashoke's reasoning. He does not want to be near his near death bed, especially after being forced to stay there while incapable of movement for a year. I wouldn't want to stay either. Like Ashoke's late friend Ghosh, I love to travel and explore different countries in the world. Ashoke takes Ghosh's advice and decides to just take a pillow and blanket and go... I love that idea. The desire to travel to a new place on impulse. For Ashoke, he hasn't been to very many different places in the world, but decides he wants to leave his home and his family, and everything he knows to go to America. He's going to discover new places, cultures, and people.

Discovering and trying new cultures is brave. Some people indulge in the small fear that comes with trying new things, and others are simply too scared to even try it in the first place. I believe that Ashoke wants to indulge in this fear and that is where I feel as if I can really empathize with him. He just wants to get away, and no one understands why... Well Ashoke, I understand! Trying new things is exhilarating, and if I had to live in Ottawa consistently for 365 days in a year, I would want to leave as soon as I could as well.

My mother, similar to Ashoke's does not understand this. My mother's perspective is more along of the lines of, "why explore other countries when you can explore your own?". While she has a valid point, and I do believe it's important to learn about your own culture, I have been living in my own culture for 18 years... And Ashoke for longer in India. I've learned  as I travel abroad I can connect my experiences elsewhere back to Canada. Just like how Ashoke and Ashima constantly compare their community in the United States to their hometowns in India.

Attached is a picture of all of the countries I've had the opportunity to travel to and explore and compare and connect back to Canada.

It probably doesn't seem like very many countries when you look at the map, but within one country alone there are several cultures to experience. Hopefully Ashoke will be able to experience, enjoy, and indulge in the American culture he sets out to find.